Today, I would like to discuss anticipation and motivation. For me, it goes hand and hand as I am sure it does with many others. Most days I am well motivated and anticipating whatever it is that I am writing, especially if I am near the end of a chapter. However, when I start anticipating the future – the publishing of our novel – my fears rears their ugly head then my motivation runs like fire through a forest away from me. My ambition and motivation returns but sometimes I often procrastinate in allowing that to happen.
I know that there are times and places to think of the future but given we are just starting chapter three of our current work in progress (WIP), I think I should stay more in today than in the future. I never get anything accomplish when I start thinking about what will happen once our agent or publisher gets a hold of the manuscript or if I think about book signings, cons, etc. I know those days will be extremely busy promoting the current novel as well as beginning the next project. I know I can do all the work but I tend to let myself be conned into thinking it will be too much on me.
It doesn’t help that I am a huge fusspot no matter which side of the scale I am currently on. My OCD kicks in and grasp anything that I am focusing on and ends up creating havoc. When the time comes that I reach out to the future, to what is coming down the highway of writing towards me, I tend to focus hard and long on it. When either Towanna or I realize what I am doing and we try to refocus me to the here and now, I leave the future hesitantly to return to the place where I am looking at each and every moment of the day – every minute detail.
Towanna has often given me that “stay in today and maybe glance at tomorrow” lecture. I know she is right but some days my brain wants to do its own thing. There is days that I just don’t want to write and I go off and do what I shouldn’t be doing. Usually by the end of the day, I am extremely worn out and end up focusing on nothing. That is when my “stinking thinking” as Towanna calls it steps in and then I get fussed at for thinking I can’t do something that we both know I can do.
So in closing, I would like to state a goal that Towanna has suggested many times for me to set for myself which I believe I will do. That being – stay in today, glance at tomorrow and just write what words that formulate in my mind. The future will be here sooner than what we realize and if I don’t accomplish what I should today then I won’t be prepared for the future. Today presents to me the time and the affordability for me to do this. After we publish the first novel, things will be different. We will be bouncing off the walls and there won’t be no turning back. We can’t wait.