Time Flies When You’re Having Fun Torturing

Another two months has passed – oi vey, where has the time gone. A lot has happened over the last few months that have kept us busy and our heads spinning. Between our writing, family issues, her full time job and other things, some days we don’t know if we are coming or going. I think her head has finally stopped spinning but don’t quote me on that.

My novel is progressing nicely but as usual when I reach a certain point in my writing, God places something in my life that slows me down. Sometimes, I wished God would stop putting obstacles in my way. It gets old proving to me and others; I can make it through what God puts in my path. It gets quite frustrating. As Towanna has pointed out to me, God doesn’t put anything in our path that we cannot handle. This, of course, is so true. I tend to provide myself with more pressure and obstacles than what really needs to be. I am an expert at taking an obstacle and making it a wall. I don’t need God’s help. I am really grateful that I have a loving family that endures my writer’s personality and attitudes. At any rate, I became Goliath and knocked down the wall and got pass the obstacles cast in my way.

Chapter five is now complete. It took longer than I anticipated. In this chapter, I entered into the female protagonist’s mind. Oh boy, I thought women were impossible to figure out on the surface. It is worse when entering their brain. Part of me wants the lead female character in the novel to hurry up and make up her mind but part of me ponders having her take her time. This could possibly lead to some tension. I know, I know – they say women are forever not making up their minds yet here I am doing the same thing. As Towanna read this she looked at me and said …. “Make up your mind already, you are driving me nuts.”

At this moment, the only thing I want to do is to be finished with this draft by Christmas. I am beginning to feel I can do it. LOL. Towanna is very happy to hear me thinking this way. She has known it is a possibility for a long time. She looked at me and told me – better late than never that I start believing in myself.

I am still researching augmentative and alternative communication devices – or AAC for short. They are so insanely expensive. I have found several I like – but not one that has all that I need. I still want to rely on my verbal speech but there are times that I just cannot communicate as effectively as I need to with others. God may have given me CP but he also gave me a voice and I want to use my voice as much as I can for as long as I can. As with any other writer, I have a large vocabulary that I want to be able to enter into the AAC. I need and want a device that can accept vast vocabulary as fast as I can feed it. There are some software products that can eventually learn my speech pattern but they take forever. Hmmm, is my impatience coming into play here? At any rate, I look forward to the day they make an AAC that I can use that has all I need. I usually let mom or Towanna be my mouth piece but I am going to continue to search for an AAC so that I can become more independent. Today’s world is just too fast paced for me to keep up with. People just don’t have the time nor do they want to slow down to listen closely enough to me.  Maybe then, I will stop getting the stares and the cruel words that I sometimes here. But then, I am the same way at times. I can be just as unforgiving to myself as other people are to me.

About three months ago, I stumbled on a program called Dasher. For over a month, I whined, moaned and complain about the program. Sometimes I would get so mad at it. Finally, Towanna told me to stop the bitching. She informed me that sometimes a new program can be hard to get use to but it is worth it in the end. I am so glad that I settled down and allowed the program to show me what it was made of. I have found Dasher allows me to communicate a lot faster and better so it is not so embarrassing for my mom or me when I try to communicate with others. I use it for everything now. Once and a while, I do the old fashion concept of fingers typing out letters but the more I get use to Dasher the more I rely on it. The best feature on it is their word prediction. I am so in love with in. (Sorry Towanna another gal is in town that I love – laughs.) Dasher is making my life simpler and gives me more time for other things. I wished this program was available when I was in high school. Oh – the doors it could have possibly opened for me.

If anyone is interested in exploring either program the links are: http://www.inference.phy.cam.ac.uk/dasher/ and http://www.naturalreaders.com. The only advice I have for anyone who explores either program is to be patient and take your time. It is well worth it.

Another program I have found is called Natural Reader. It is a program that reads text by using a computer generated voice. The voice sounds as natural as my mothers or Towanna’s does. If you ever were in the same room as someone using this program, you would turn around to see whose voice it was. I am proud of myself for not giving up and continuing to find programs and items that make me more independent.

My next bit of news was quite a pleasant surprise to me. It seems that the writing bug has now bitten my baby brother. Oh lord helps this family – two writers in one family going to definitely drive everyone insane. All kidding aside now – Andrew sent me a poem he had written. Wow – I was blown away. He definitely has a talent that he has been keeping hidden from all of us. When I heard him reading this poem, my first thought was that he should enter it into a poetry contest. He had written a beautiful, heart touching piece.  One day, while on Skype with Andrew, we got to talking and we decided that we will be writing a children’s book together. It already has a great start – and no Towanna, I won’t be giving anything away to you. LOL. Andrew – just a bit of advice from your big brother – while it’s fun to drive your woman insane – I don’t advise it. Towanna is already on the verge of buying a strait-jacket for me. I am very lucky Towanna deals with my workaholic binges but I doubt Victoria would be so patient. Pace yourself and balance everything out. LOL. Oh and Andrew – welcome to the Asylum.

I have recently attended the ConCarolinas in Charlotte, N.C.  I left this past Friday and returned on Sunday evening. It was very long days but well worth it. It gave mom and I both some great quality mother/son time. The drive there was beautiful – especially going over the Smokey Mountains. I know Towanna would have had us stop every mile so she could get out and enjoy the view. We arrived there just in time to get me registered for the next days’ events and get settled into our hotel room. I don’t know who was asleep first Friday night – we were both so tired from the drive. Saturday was a brand new day. I listen to five panel discussions about writing. Also, I sat through a reading by David Drake. They were very informative and I learn a lot. I saw some great authors – Faith Hunter, David B. Coe, Misty Massy and others. I just wished I would have not been so worried about my speech disability and went up to them to say hi. After the panels were over and the reading completed, mom and I went to dinner. Afterwards, we retired to our rooms for some zombie time. We ordered a piece of double decker red velvet cake. I sacrificed my blood sugar level for the sake of job security for that baker. What else could I do? It was good going down and I do not regret an ounce of what I ate. Mom and I stayed up to the wee hours of the morning watching movies and having a great time. On Sunday we got up and headed home. I couldn’t wait to get home and back with my Towanna. I missed her so much. When I got online, I found out just how much she missed me. I thought she had become an offensive lineman while I was gone. She tackled me so hard and fast before I could even say hi. Imagine that – someone missed me while I was gone.  I want to say thank you very much to my mother for taking time out of her busy schedule to take me. Thanks Mom!!!

Speaking of Towanna – what can I say? She is the most angelic, innocent, caring, giving person I know. LOL – I know, I know, she is the devil in disguise but she is my Bearsy and a very busy one at that. She is one hard working woman. I might have to take her to a convention one day just to get her to slow down. At this point, I think it would take me walking to her and sitting on her to slow her down.

Towanna finally has been able to open the coworking center legally. It was a long time coming but well worth the wait. Now, begins the advertising to get clients in. We both feel that it will begin to grow in leaps and bounds. I cannot wait until Florida is taken care of so she can move back to Bowling Green, Ky and get one started here. Yes I must admit – I want her here for me more than anything else. She is slowly but surely catching up in her course work for her class. It is not as easy as she thought it would be. She is struggling but somehow managing an A average so far. She has managed to begin writing and editing here and there. It is not as much time spent on it as she desires but she does do her best. She is hoping to get caught up on her part with in the next two months. I don’t see how she goes like she does but she does. She is definitely a go-getter. Once she starts something, she refused to give up until it is done.

In addition to her work, course and writing, she has had a full plate with family issues and other things. I did not realize how much she carries until I sat her down and had a long talk with her. She finally admitted that the daily pain she lives in has increased and the medication is not working any longer. On top of that, a longtime friend since elementary school past away. These two have been inseparable since they day they met. I am forever and a day trying to convince her to put her work and course first – the writing can wait but she doesn’t listen to me. Every day, her feet hit the floor and she talks off running (as the saying goes) and doesn’t stop until late at night. I know one day she will slow down – I just hope it sooner than later. She is highly stressed right now but I have learned that she will stop catch her breath then go right back to life. She claims that she is taking a vacation from June 30 through the 4th of July but I will believe that when I see it.

My intention was to do monthly blogs. However, time flew so fast the past two months it was half way through May before we realized I never did April’s blog.  Such is life. The blog is now done. (Towanna is clapping her hands on that.) I promise to be more attentive to the time to get my monthly blogs out on the last day of the month for now on. Outside of research and writing on my novel, I have not set any additional goals for myself. I believe Towanna’s goals are to get advertising done and clients in her center get caught up with her course work and do some more writing/editing this month. We are both hoping to spend at least one day on line catching up on our chat and with her giving me my UK spanking that she normally does when we play QWERTY.

We would like to wish family, friends and our readers a great, safe and happy summer. Please be careful when outdoors. Make sure you stay hydrated. Work outside in the morning or late evening and use sunblock.


Hear Ye, Hear Ye, March came in like a king and went out like a WILDCAT

This month has been a very busy month both in writing and in life. Neither Towanna nor I know where this month went to. It was over before we realized it. That is why it’s the end of the first week of April and we are just now doing our end of month blog for March.

March as brought a slowdown in Towanna’s real time – something I did not think I would ever see.  Her business venture is almost ready to open. Groans – I thought Kentucky had red tape to sort through but Florida is the icing off the cake when it comes to red tape. She is waiting on one permit then there is one more. YIPEEEEEEE!!!! I am so happy for her.  Now that she has time to breath, she has realized that she has not touched her online college course in almost two months. Thank God that it is a self-pace course and she will soon be caught up in that as well. She is now back to editing with a fiery passion. She is almost done putting her two cents into Chapter Two and doing some massive editing. Once that is done – psttttttttttt Uncle Fred pay attention here – it will go to our beta reader.

To me, March is one of the few great months of the year. The only month better is August – that is when I met Towanna – and nothing could ever out do that. (I hope that earns me some brownie points with her after the last few months of basketball.)

March, in my opinion, is the best month of the year for sports. It all begins in late November early December. Lots of great games occur over the winter months but nothing compares to the Final Four. Every year, I have a dream – that is to sit and watch my UK Wildcats make it to the Final Four then take the National Championship. This year (after a 14 year wait) they made my dream come true to the tune of a 38-2 season.

This past winter, I spent countless hours watching my team – the reigning national champions; University of Kentucky’s Wildcats- repeatedly take the court to beat one team after another. Some games, I must admit, I worried if they would ever survive it to make it to the next game but they always won in the end. Some games were really close while others games were massive wins. My favorite games were the “kick ass and take names later” games.


Poor Towanna was a real champ. She endured the countless post of game scores and half time chats. She had to tell me constantly it was ok when I began to feel guilty for watching the games. (Her alma mater is WKU – my team’s rival – laughs) She is not a sports fan of any kind but she never once whined or complained through it all.

Don’t worry my dear writing fans. March was not all basketball. March also brought the completion of chapter four of our novel. It took me longer than I anticipated but closure was made. I have tried something new that I am really hoping works. I am trying to keep a new character’s identify from the other already established characters and our readers. I usually don’t like doing this but in this situation I feel it is necessary.

Chapter five is coming along at a much steadier pace -actually is it practically writing itself. Oh how I do so love when that happens because it makes my life so much easier. During the writing of chapter five, I discovered I have a love/hate relationship with the main female character. When I began writing this novel way back in my high school days, she seemed to be a kind and caring person that my main character needed to be with. Now, I am not so sure. Only time will tell.

Recently, I talked with my brother Andrew and he expressed a desire to start writing children’s books. He has honored me by saying he would like to write a book or two with me. I might take him up on his offer once the current novel is complete. I hope the offer is still good at that time. I just feel two books at once would be a bit much. Towanna, as always, says I could do it so we will see. I would not only be honored to co-author a book with Andrew but I would love the adventure.

A week ago, I decided to check out on-screen keyboards similar to the Windows 7 on-screen keyboard for my computer at dad’s house. I never found it; however, I found an on-screen keyboard that is designed specifically for handicapped people called Dasher. I have posted earlier today a blog on Dasher so I won’t be redundant in this blog. As a test of the program and to see if I could write more than a hundred words in one sitting using this program, I’ve written this entire blog while using Dasher.

It is official – I am heading to the ConCarolinas Convention in Charlotte, N.C., the 1st through the 3rd of June. I am very excited as I always am. This convention was the first con I ever went to in 2008. I enjoyed it then and I am sure to enjoy it again. I will be escorted by my best friend – my mother. Tickets are paid for and the hotel room is reserved. Be forewarned restaurants – there is no such thing as Wade having a full stomach. Watch out North Carolina here we come – Wadester is on his way.

Seriously now, I am hoping to return home with a broader knowledge of the craft of writing. Cons are such an awesome way to network and make friends. Unfortunately, due to previous commitments, Towanna is not able to make the convention for me but upon my arrival home, I will tell her all that I can possibly tell her about it. I am hoping to make her feel like she was there. Pssst, don’t tell her but I am planning on getting some post cards and a t-shirt to send to her but she don’t know that yet.

April promises to be a fulfilling and busy month. Just the way Towanna and I like it. We are not sure what we will accomplish but we will get something done sooner or later this month. Oh btw, Towanna wants me to let everyone know, she is on strike on Monday, April 9th. She is going to the beach and there will be no center work, no writing, no editing, no beta reading, no phones even cell phones, no lap top NOTHING. Eesh, someone is going to think I work her to hard. I myself will be kicking back and enjoying a good game of baseball. I hope.  My beloved Cubs have not done well the last few years. I am hoping I do not have to sit through a game with the Brewers beating my loveable Cubs.

Happy Easter Everyone!!!!

Look Ma, it is Superman … no no wait… it’s Lazy Man … nooooo it’s Dasher

Recently, I stumbled on a computer program called Dasher. It slowed me down and my patience went out the door while I was learning this program. Towanna sat patiently waiting for me during this time – it is a wonder she has not spanked me yet. She has told me at least two times a day this past week that she will not consider a word count or if the program is good for me or not until I have used it for at least a month. She says after a month, I will have used it enough to know most of the bells and whistles. This would make for a complete analysis of the program. Hmm, could it be so?

I am slowly getting use to this program. To be honest, I am beginning to think this program is definitely worth the download and the time it takes to learn it. When I told Towanna that, she just laughed and asked me if I was sure. She knows as well as I do I have not had the best in the patience department and that I have forgotten I do have limitations. Most who know me would have thought I was crazy after all the grumbling and complaining I have done.

I can type faster without this program but I find myself exhausted and brain fried at the end of a session. With Dasher, I have more energy and I am not as cranky which I am sure my mom, Towanna and some others appreciate.


Another unrelated problem that I have which drives my girlfriend up the wall is that I tend to go from one end of the scale to the other with no stopping in between when it comes to working. I am either completely lazy and avoiding working or I go non-stop working for weeks on end. I tend to say tomorrow I am taking off then before Towanna is even awake I am up and working and bombing her with ideals and wanting her to check this or that out. This tends to make for a cranky Towanna – which I don’t like to see too often. I know I need to find a balance. I have been told this can be done but being a writer I have to write when the ideas and words come to me – so sporadic work is par for the course. At this point in time, all I want is to find that delicate balance between procrastinating, being lazy and having spurts of being a workaholic. Is that possible???

Don’t fear I’m alive and watching the Wildcats dominate the world

Since the beginning of the year, life – both with writing and personal sides – has kept me extremely busy. I was so busy that I missed posting my EOM (end of the month) January 2012 blog. Towanna has been so extremely busy with doing things in her personal life that she has literally fallen behind in her writing. OMG! She is the most organized and stay ahead of the game person I have ever known. Yet each day, I have seen her slip further and further behind to the point, I have had to get the binoculars out to make sure she is still back there. Does that tell you how busy her personal life has been? For those whose curiosity is killing you right now, I will not speak of Towanna’s personal life at this time. It is for her, and her only, to talk about. Let’s just say it has been a very long and hard few months on her and me both. It was very difficult to sit and see the one I love struggle knowing there wasn’t much I could do to help.

Towanna and I have one thing in common – the NEED to control things in our lives but then who don’t.  For those who don’t know me – I am driven daily by the need to control even things that is out of my control. I feel this stems from me having Cerebral Palsy and the fact that many things are out of my control and there is nothing I can do about it. While she is not as bad as I am, she has had to pause in her writing to gain control and reorganize. I think my partner in crime was being driven crazy over it all. Now that things are settled, she is back to her writing. This writer for one is DAMN happy she is back.

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to start controlling my diabetes a lot better than I have been doing the last few years. This means I have to stop being stubborn, pig-headed, and quit eating all the foods that I know I should not be eating. It also means that on special holidays and special events that I must remember I am diabetic and I have NO EXCUSE to send my sugar level soaring to the other side of the universe. Like I said, this year is the year that I control it without giving Towanna and others headaches over it. This includes NOT getting cranky and irritable when I want something I can’t have. Ok, ok, ok, I must admit it. I get unbearable when I want something and don’t get it.

The last few months, I have been having seizures – some bad, some not so bad. The more intense seizures are scaring me.  When an attack occurs, I have no chance of contacting anyone. This is what I fear the most. I also fear that I won’t be able to contact someone in time. Once I have a seizure, it takes a while for me to get back to where I am focused. Rest assured though, Mom is setting up the appointment necessary to get them checked out.

I know that I must take care of myself in order to have a life where I can complete my eternal list of things I want to do. I don’t want anything to happen to me. I have a great family, a gal that I adore more than anything in this world and a promising writing career; I want to stick around to see how it all turns out.

Recently, my mother received some news from her doctor that was less than pleasing – actually it was very upsetting and disturbing for me to hear. Mom has always been over healthy. I worry about what I will do if anything happens to mom. She has been my number one fan since the day I was born – no matter what. The year I attended Wright State University, I tried to do everything on my own from attending classes to make my aides’ schedules and that didn’t turn out to well.  I know Towanna will help once she moves to Bowling Green, but the way things are going with her job it might be more than a year before she can move. With the diagnosis mom received, it has created a change in my normal routine. Here in the near future, I will be over at dads’ more often. That means more writing at his house. I try not to write at his house due to my own personal reasons but I must do what I must do.

I have been posting to Tweeter more since the first of the year. My id is @WThomasMarkham. Towanna has been on me for months to get on tweeter to post. She says EVERYONE has a tweeter account and that everyone that is anyone is on tweeter. I have to admit that it is not as bad as I tried to make it out to be but then that which I really don’t want to do that I know I must do turns out that way.

Since December, I have been working hard on the novel. We now have two beta readers who has been a great source of suggestions and ideas to us.(Thank you our beta readers) We feel that chapter one is now ready to be put to rest for a while.(Thank God) Chapter 2 is being worked on slowly but surely by Towanna. I think she is actually done with it. I will know later this week. (Sits on Uncle Fred to help him contain his excitement) I have my part of chapter 3 completed and is now sitting on Towanna’s desk looking at her balefully waiting for her hands to torture our main character some. The completion of my part of chapter 4 is right around the corner. I have had a few seeds pop in my head on how to close it out and I have taken my sweet time selecting the one I want to use.

In closing, I would like to say that life is over all fantastic for me. Sure there has been a few disappointing moments for me but I have to admit overall it has been great so far this year. Towanna and I are going forward with the book. We are hoping by the end of 2012 it will be ready for a great editor to edit and send off to the publisher. We are also looking forward to Towanna moving back to Kentucky where she belongs. Therefore, until next time, I hope everyone has a happy and wonderful month.

Me? Crazy? Certifiable? Hmmmm, want to know what made me this way?

Recently, I celebrated another year of being on God’s green earth. I have been blessed to have a family and girlfriend that just love me and are there for me no matter what.

Here are a few profound words that my little brother was inspired to write about me even though he got my birth year wrong. Damn Andrew, next time at least make me a year or two younger. (LOL – Just teasing you my brother – love you)


Wade Thomas Markham III born February 15, 1970 at the haunted hospital on the hill in Bowling Green, Kentucky.  Son of two very young parents Libby 18 and Big Wade 20 I believe (oh my god I can’t imagine having children at that age).  Wade was named after his father and the very mysterious and often debated Wade Thomas Markham the first (most of us doubt he existed).  My personal belief was Grandma Haydon gave Dad the 2nd to make him sound more stately.  Grandma it worked, suit, tie, degree in law, and hopefully a enormous 401K that he will leave to me some day.  I missed the first five years little Wade’s  life due to prior obligations in the ethers. 


I came into the picture when Wade was 5.  We lived in Nashville.  Wade was kind enough to name me and insure that I was not called by the most common American male name “John”.  I was named after Raggedy Andy a doll my brother had and could easily pronounce.  I many traditions it is believed our names paint a picture of our future, and yes I have been an incredibly kind, compassionate, person throughout my life and in addition a bit “raggedy”.


My brother was given a gift that no teacher, parent, or holy man could share with the people.   This gift gave me a foundation of compassion that the Dali Lama strives to teach his followers throughout his life.  A gift that undoubtedly was not an easy one to carry, but boy did he carry it and does he to this day, and I will forever be grateful to him for it.  It is my understanding we choose these lives we lead, these parents we have, the road is laid before us and all we have to do is make the right choices to stay on it.  God Bless you Brother for choosing the road you did, for the world, and my world in particular would be so much less without it.


Wade didn’t always stay on his road, or his lane even.  I have many a memory of be plowed over by his wheelchair and a few of Wade trying “Evil Canivil“ style tricks off stair cases and one down into a huge drainage basin.  He never quite landed the stunts like the “Fall Guy” or “Evil Canivil”  but he sure was good at clipping his younger brother when necessary to get his point across.  I’ve got a couple of scars to show for it.


Wade and I spent our days at play in an imaginary world of adventure.  We couldn’t play in the tree house, or play a game of basketball.  No we had far more important adventures to go on, like sailing pirate ships around the world, conquering dragons and amassing fortunes in golden treasure, racing cars through the baja.  Anywhere and anything we had access for play with our unlimited imagination. 


Wade dreams to be a writer began at an early age.  I recall him copying the text from books with his #2 pencil pretending he was writing books.  He loved to read and the older he got the weirder the books he read.  He is working on his Opus literary piece and taking his time doing it.  I know he will finish this book some day and Brother I promise I will read it when it’s Done.  Lately he has been Blogging about the progress of the books and the trails of being a “Cubs Fan” uhhh, I mean writer.


Cubs fan.  I became to believe a Cubs fan must be the most heartfelt  fan alive, because in the 18 years we lived together, they were never any good.  Ok maybe decent a couple of years.  Harry Cary used to make my brother laugh a laugh that could bring tears to eyes.  In fact, during a very difficult time in my life after losing my best friend, and becoming quite revolted by the concept of “God”  A musician played a tribute to Harry Cary and his passing,  Who would of thought Sam Bush singing “Take me out to the Ball Game” as a memorial to Harry Carry would spark the memory of my brothers laughter that lead me to my knees in prayer.  Thanks Wade for that laugh and Thanks Harry for making him laugh all those years.


Wade was great to have around.  For one if you ever want to do Disney World in style bring my brother.  We didn’t have to wait in a single line, except for “Magic Mountain.”  We couldn’t figure out how to get him on that ride.  He loves food and will fight you tooth and nail for the last helping of mash potatoes.  He also has been known to defy  certain laws of the universe like being a UK fan and a Duke fan.  I believe they call that playing with a loaded deck.  I look forward to spending many more happy birthdays with you Bro.

Where Did the Time Go?

As with any December, cold weather arrived with fierceness. Thank God, we haven’t gotten any snow – just a little snow flurries. I am more than ready for spring time and nice weather. I am sitting in Kentucky with the average of 34 degree weather and Towanna is sitting in Florida enjoying high 70’s and lounging on her pool deck. Something just is not right with that.

There were a few days that I didn’t write and that I can honestly say that I was not being lazy or procrastinating. I was busy with holiday events.  We enjoyed an extended weekend over Christmas and will be taking one for New Year’s Day weekend as well. Today, (for some strange reason) Towanna insist we get back to work.

This month, plans have begun in regards to special event that will happen at the beginning of next summer that I can’t wait for.  It will take a lot of planning and coordination but it can and will be done. LOL – I know everyone is dying to know what that special event is but everyone will just have to wait to find out because I am not telling. Oh by the way – don’t ask Towanna because she won’t tell you either. Right now, outside of completing our first project, maybe a convention, and the special event, we are not planning too much at this time for next year.

The holidays have been a very good one for me. Christmas Eve and half Christmas day I spent with my father and step mom and her kids. I enjoyed watching the boys opening their gifts.  The way they ripped open the packages, tossing wrapping paper about made our den look like a tornado struck it. I could not help but laugh when their eyes brighten with joy at the treasures they received. The rest of Christmas day and Monday, I enjoyed time with my grandmother, mom and stepdad. Boy was my grandmother the jackpot winner this year. I received Bama and UK things – gooooooo Bama, gooooooo UK (Laughing) I also got a new flat screen TV. Towanna says to look at it good now because after the first of the year, I won’t have time to see it much. Monday afternoon, mom and I had some good quality mother/son time by going to the movies. Then Monday night, I was back at Dad’s for another long time family tradition – a book swap and dinner. I am hoping that one year – sooner than later – that Towanna and I will see one of our novels being exchanged during our traditional book swap. Towanna and I had a small gift exchange. I do so think that in the future, we will enjoy spoiling each other immensely not only throughout the year but at Christmas time as well.

As with many Decembers in the past, I have found myself extremely busy but feeling like I have accomplished very little. Of course, I know I have been busy all month. Writing, the holidays, and Towanna kept me busy that is for sure.  Sometimes I felt that I was whipping through the wintery wonderland in a blaze of wind.

When the month started, Towanna stated that she wanted chapter two to be done by the end of the month.  I almost fell out of my wheelchair due to my tendency to procrastinate, and as usual, I didn’t believe in my resolve.  Once again, I have proven myself wrong. Towanna just laughs at me. She has faith in me that often times I don’t have in myself. She knew I could do it. I am not sure what happened but I was done chapter two before I realized it. Maybe the BICHOK has something to do with it.  As it neared the week of Christmas, I started on chapter three. I am progressing along quite nicely.  I am truly surprised how fast the chapter is writing itself.  I have even done a blog or two this month. I know, I know, I should do more blogging and I have promised myself and Towanna that will be one thing I will be working on in the New Year.

Once again, I have changed how I approach my day, especially when it comes to writing. I think I am beginning to drive Towanna crazy over changing things as much as I do but she remains a trooper and doesn’t complain. Well, she don’t complain that much.  I tend to grow bored easy. When this happens, I find myself laughing at the excuses for not writing that I tend to come up with. Poor Towanna can only shake her head at some of them. I will probably have to change my current writing process within several months. I have mixed feelings about doing this. Part of me is happy I can find something that helps me to get my creativity out of me and onto paper. On the other hand it slows me down and it takes a while for me to get geared back up to where I should be.

With each passing month, I am finding myself getting out of the habit of wanting and needing to be just like every other writer out there. I know no two people are the same – especially writers. I have caught myself a couple times this month stopping myself from comparing me to others. Towanna has told me many times that I am a unique person with an ability many others have and that if I put my mind to it, I can be a successful published writer.

Before I close, I would like to take this time to thank all those who stand behind me and lend support to me whenever or wherever I need it. Both Towanna and I would also like to wish each and every one that reads this along with their family and friends a very safe and happy New Year. May next year bring bounties of goodness that surpasses your expectations. May the fruit of life bring you peace, happiness and love.

Can’t Wait. Can You?

Today, I would like to discuss anticipation and motivation. For me, it goes hand and hand as I am sure it does with many others. Most days I am well motivated and anticipating whatever it is that I am writing, especially if I am near the end of a chapter.  However, when I start anticipating the future – the publishing of our novel – my fears rears their ugly head then my motivation runs like fire through a forest away from me. My ambition and motivation returns but sometimes I often procrastinate in allowing that to happen.

I know that there are times and places to think of the future but given we are just starting chapter three of our current work in progress (WIP), I think I should stay more in today than in the future. I never get anything accomplish when I start thinking about what will happen once our agent or publisher gets a hold of the manuscript or if I think about book signings, cons, etc. I know those days will be extremely busy promoting the current novel as well as beginning the next project. I know I can do all the work but I tend to let myself be conned into thinking it will be too much on me.

It doesn’t help that I am a huge fusspot no matter which side of the scale I am currently on. My OCD kicks in and grasp anything that I am focusing on and ends up creating havoc.  When the time comes that I reach out to the future, to what is coming down the highway of writing towards me, I tend to focus hard and long on it. When either Towanna or I realize what I am doing and we try to refocus me to the here and now, I leave the future hesitantly to return to the place where I am looking at each and every moment of the day – every minute detail.

Towanna has often given me that “stay in today and maybe glance at tomorrow” lecture. I know she is right but some days my brain wants to do its own thing. There is days that I just don’t want to write and I go off and do what I shouldn’t be doing. Usually by the end of the day, I am extremely worn out and end up focusing on nothing. That is when my “stinking thinking” as Towanna calls it steps in and then I get fussed at for thinking I can’t do something that we both know I can do.

So in closing, I would like to state a goal that Towanna has suggested many times for me to set for myself which I believe I will do. That being – stay in today, glance at tomorrow and just write what words that formulate in my mind. The future will be here sooner than what we realize and if I don’t accomplish what I should today then I won’t be prepared for the future. Today presents to me the time and the affordability for me to do this. After we publish the first novel, things will be different. We will be bouncing off the walls and there won’t be no turning back. We can’t wait.